Hi Ms. Johnson!
Thanks so much for the comments.
I was surprised that i got so much feedback lol.
I appreciate everything you said and everyone else said.
plus the constructive criticism is great for me too
i need all the help i can to become succe…
Thanks so much i really appreciate it! and thank you for specifically telling me my errors so next time i know what to work on.I can see the confusion you had with that sentence. its clear to me now, thanks again!
You are right that I honed in on something very specific, but it's something that I have long practiced in terms of feedback to students. As a rule, I give them very specific comments on a single aspect of their writing and then encourage them to in…
Sharon,
Hi, I had the same trouble with that almost gorgeous sentence you pointed out starting with "That prerogative", and I wanted to understand it also but couldn't. I hope Marissa can break down her ideas a little more so that what she is explai…
I too was impressed by Marissa's organization and use of conventions. It's obvious she pays a lot of attention to detail and takes great pride in her work.
Kathleen
Sharon,
I like how you honed in on something specific, but you spent a lot of time on it. I don't know that I would have that much time to spend on one issue in a paper with my schedule and number of papers to grade. I do agree that the confusion wi…
Kathleen's comment about how using personal experiences to illlustrate your research makes it more personalble is an excellent point. A good balance between your outside resources and your personal experiences always makes an essay more readable.
Hi, Marissa!
I really have enjoyed reading and rereading your essay. I am struck by all the excellent changes you have already made to this draft from the earlier drafts I saw. For instance, you added concessions to the beginnings of most of your b…
Marissa,
I enjoyed reading your essay, and I think you make some excellent points in support of your contention that school uniforms inhibit uniqueness. In the first full paragraph on page 2, when you declare that "the next writers, artists, invento…
I loved your comment that "A child’s intelligence is not measured by the clothes they wear, but by their commitment and attitude towards their school work. There will always be the students that perform well in school and there will always be the st…
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